Hush Love
by lionheartedbookworm
Summary: It was an accident. That's what he kept telling himself. Sleeping Hook.


It was an accident.

That's what he kept telling himself.

When he comes home to find her clutching a tiny stick and her skin as pale as snow, he isn't sure what to expect. She flinches away from his touch and stammers under her breath as she paces the room. It takes hours into the night of her arguing with herself before she even acknowledges him there. She finally stares him dead in the eyes and whispers exactly what the little lines on the stick in her hand means.

* * *

Days turn into weeks which turn into months.

Soon enough, a small bump begins to form.

Aurora is conflicted. She always wanted a baby. A little boy or girl with warm brown eyes and dimples like their father. A little prince or princess who would never want for nothing. A child who was never supposed to grow up in Storybrooke, Maine in a simple apartment with hardly any furniture. She had always wanted to be a mother. She had always wanted to have a baby with the man she loved. She had dreamed about it. It meant happily ever after had come, that things would be sparkling and beautiful just as they always had been.

But trials and sadness had entered her life.

She hadn't ever thought the man she loved would be a pirate with darkness in his soul.

* * *

The baby kicks for the first time, and it's so sharp Aurora gasps out in surprise.

Killian is instantly at her side, a confused and worried expression crossing his stubbly face. "Rora?" He questions softly, unsure of what to do.

For the first time in months, her pink lips quirk into a smile. She touches her stomach, and he watches as she gently presses down. A squeak escapes her as the baby pushes back.

"Killian..." She whispers his name like a prayer.

He reaches out for her, but instead of letting him hold her, she brings his hand to her stomach.

The baby kicks against his hand, and he quickly yanks his hand away, a cold sweat forming on his brow.

* * *

It's not that he isn't happy.

On the contrary. There's a little life inside his princess that they had made from their love.

It was bound to happen eventually. They never tired of indulging themselves in each other.

So much so, their nosy Charming neighbors had politely asked them to keep it down every so often.

But he wasn't exactly the fathering type.

After Milah, after Bae, after everything, he knew he would never deserve happiness.

It was still a daily occurrence for him to wake up in the night and be surprised to find Aurora there, so happily curled up at his side. She wasn't a dream. She was real. And every night, he would hold her a little tighter to be sure she wouldn't disappear.

He could barely be a lover and a husband, let alone a father. His own father was a real piece of work. Killian didn't know anything about being a father. And he hadn't ever wanted to. Any kid saddled with him as a father was cursed.

He didn't deserve happiness. He didn't deserve this life that was meant for another man.

* * *

Still, he's fiercely protective of Aurora.

Any ache or pain she has, he heals as best as he can. He rubs her aching muscles and brings her whatever food she craves. She has an affinity for waffles and ice cream, and he never denies her. She's very touchy, and goes from sobbing over a silly commercial on the TV box or laughing hysterically over spilled milk. She craves his touch, and constantly wants him to hold her, to touch her. She doesn't like him being away from her view. And Killian always makes sure she's happy, that she has exactly what she needs.

Aurora never asks him to touch her stomach anymore.

But sometimes when he wakes in the night, he can feel the gentle pushes against him as their child turns.

And sometimes, he pushes back.

* * *

It's a quiet, warm night. She's wearing one of his cotton shirts, and her back is curved against Killian's chest comfortably. She can't exactly snuggle up to his chest any longer, because of her new curved stomach. He begins to wonder if the kid _already_ has it out for him. They'd be fighting over Aurora on day one, he's sure of it.

He keeps his hands on her arms. He can't bring himself to hold her and the child. Not yet. He's not ready.

"Killian?" She whispers, small fingers curling in the sheets.

"Yes, love?"

"What do you want our baby to be? A boy? Or a girl?"

Both terrifies him. He doesn't want the boy to grow up and be like him. He doesn't know how to be a father. How could he teach an innocent lad how to be a man? But oh, he would teach that boy what love really is. He would teach that boy how to be a man. He wouldn't let his son become corrupt like he had been. But the boy would surely hate him, of course. Pirates weren't good men. How could a boy want one for a father?

And then a girl? Killian couldn't imagine giving his heart away to another little princess. Aurora stressed him out enough as it was. She fought with him and never backed down. She was all snark and frilly dresses and that's what made him love her so much. How could he handle another little lass craving his attention? He would be overbearingly protective over the girl, he was sure. He didn't even know the sex of the baby and he was already worried about ruthless men like him snatching her up.

Either way, he would look at their baby and wonder if Aurora wished her life she had made with him was with her prince. If she would look at their son and wish he was a prince, wish he would grow up soft and sweet like her prince had been. Or if she would look at their daughter and wish her icy blue eyes were brown like her prince's had been. If she would wish her life was with him, instead of a pirate.

He wouldn't blame her, of course. She deserved the castles and the prince and the little royal babies. She deserved so much more than she had.

And yet she still wanted him, still married him, still loved _him. _

His arms slowly snake around her middle across her swollen stomach and he catches her the sharp intake of breath. "Either, love. Let it be a surprise. Now rest."

* * *

She waddles home one day with dinner in one hand and a shiny paper in the other.

He barely has a chance to kiss her and take the bags of greasy food from her before she happily thrusts the paper into his hands.

She stands at his side and eagerly waits for him to realize what he's holding.

It's a blur of black and white smudges. He can't tell what he's even looking at.

"Lovely. Smudges." He mumbles, quirking his eyebrow. "What is it?"

Her bluebell eyes instantly fill with tears and she pouts her lips. "That's our baby." She murmurs quietly, offended by the fact that he doesn't recognize their child.

He looks down at the picture in his hand again, and studies it closer. It still looks like a blob of black and white. He still doesn't know what he's looking at. If their baby is somewhere in there, he or she is awfully blurry. "...Oh."

Aurora sniffles, and she pries the picture from him. "I want to be happy, Killian. Don't make me do this alone."

Before he can reach for her, she's grabbing her bag of food and plopping herself down on the sofa to watch one of the many shows she had begun.

His stomach is in knots as he moves towards her. He sits on the coffee table before her, forcing her to look at him.

"I'm trying, Rora." He murmurs.

"Not enough." She whispers shakily, eyes dropping to the picture in her hands. "I know you're scared. But Killian...I...I am too." She looks up at him tearfully. "I don't _want_ to do this alone."

Before he can stop himself, he's cupping her face in his good hand and kissing her senseless. She makes a soft sound against his mouth, but he doesn't care. He's kissing her fiercely, all his fears and built up emotions running free in this kiss. She returns it with fervor, her small hand clutching at the picture while the other touches his chest. She can feel his heartbeat, and it helps her know that he's real, that he's not running away from her. From them.

When he pulls away, their lips are swollen and their breathing is shaky. He's kissing over her face and she can't help but close her eyes.

"I love you, princess. You won't ever, _ever_ be alone. I swear to you." He pulls away to meet her teary blue eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

And to prove his point, he gently rests his hand upon her stomach.

And this time when the baby kicks, he doesn't flee.

* * *

He lets the women of Storybrooke fawn over Aurora.

Mary Margaret takes on a motherly role and helps Aurora with everything she could possibly need. Belle keeps Aurora in full stock of books and movies and shows to keep her occupied. Ruby brings milkshakes and cheeseburgers and plenty of waffles to keep Aurora happy and fed. Granny croons over Aurora's stomach and gives her a balm to rub on her skin to sooth her aches and keep her skin healthy. Ashley takes Aurora out on walks and the two women talk about pregnancy and the like.

They throw her a baby shower in the diner, despite her modest protests. She doesn't want them to make a fuss over her.

But everyone does anyways.

Killian and Aurora want to keep the child's sex a surprise, so they receive a mix of items. Some boy things, some girl things, and some things he's certain aren't for a human baby, but some other species entirely. He's not even sure a baby _needs_ all these things.

But again, what does he know?

As shy as Aurora is about it, he knows she loves the attention. She loves that everyone is so happy for them. They don't exactly make the ideal couple. But it's a joyous event.

Later when they have gone home and plopped down in the middle of their present mountain, she brings his hand to her stomach again.

"We can do this." She reassures him, her smile nervous, but her eyes excited.

* * *

Childbirth scares the hell out of him.

Aurora reads piles of books given to her by the lovely Belle as a baby shower gift. And then his princess decides he needs to be aware of all that goes on in the process.

And while it disgusts him, it enthralls him and frightens him to no end.

In their land, women died in childbirth at times. Not everyone had magic or healing medicines. He knew in this strange new land they now lived in, the women made it through, that they were alright. But at the same time, the thought was there. He could lose Aurora. By some small chance, sure. But it was a chance nonetheless.

The pain she would experience would be utter anguish.

Aurora just smiled at that, and shrugged her shoulders. "I think with everything we've been through, I can handle it."

* * *

"No, no, no, no! I can't...no...Killian please..." Aurora is sobbing, and her grip is iron tight on his hand. She has been at it all night. Dr. Whale and Mother Superior helped her along the way. Now they were getting down to the final moments. His princess had cursed like a sailor. And while he had some sort of admiration for that, he knew she never would say these things unless she was in torment.

He'd panicked, of course. He'd flurried around her like a madman, and drank too much scotch in the waiting room. He's dizzy, and pale, and he's sure he'll vomit. He had practically screamed at Whale to get his wife something to make the pain stop. Aurora was in pain. Her torment was his fault. He had done this to her. And he couldn't even take the pain away from her. He couldn't make anything better.

"Aurora, _you can_. I know you can. Be strong, sweetheart." He tries not to let his voice shake. He has to be strong. He has to be strong for her.

"I can't...I can't..." She whimpers.

"Almost there, Aurora! Come on, dear, just a few more pushes and your baby will be here." Mother Superior croons.

Killian kisses Aurora's forehead and brushes her hair away from her sweaty skin. "You've been through worse." He chuckles.

"You sure know how to comfort a woman." Whale grumbles.

But Aurora understands. She slowly nods, and her lips quirk into the tiniest smirk. She gives Killian a slow nod, and he smiles warmly at her. She sits up a little straighter, and he brushes her hair away from her face. Her expression of anguish turns to a determined one, and suddenly, she's squeezing his hand as tight as she can. She cries out in pain, but she gives it her all.

And suddenly, Aurora's scream of pain dies out, bringing forth a second, brand new scream.

* * *

Hearing his daughter's cry brings a wave over Killian. His heart feels swollen, and he suddenly can't breathe.

Dr. Whale can't help but smile at Aurora's astonished expression as he holds up the squirming newborn. "It's a girl." He grins and gently hands the baby over to Mother Superior so she can wash her.

Killian looks quickly at Aurora. "A girl." She whispers. "A girl." Tears stream from her closed eyes, and she laughs quietly.

She's beaming, and he's certain he's never seen her look so beautiful. Her smile is bright, and though she is sweaty and exhausted, she's gorgeous. He kisses her fiercely, and it takes Dr. Whale's 'ahem' to force them apart. Aurora giggles weakly, and Killian kisses her fingers repeatedly.

"I told you you could do it, lass. My strong Rora." He murmurs into her fingers.

"Go see our baby, Killian." Aurora whispers.

Killian freezes, and the smile on his face fades slightly. How can he deny her anything? She had just worked so hard, had just brought their daughter into the world. The least he could do was _look_ at her.

With a sigh, he kisses her forehead and walks towards the scale where his daughter is being weighed and cleaned. Mother Superior has a warm smile for him, but he can't tear his eyes away from the little girl before him.

Her skin is pink, so very pink. Little fists wave wildly in the air, and she whimpers from being separated from the warmth of her mother's body. Her hair is thick and black, and stands up in messy curls. She's beautiful, and all his.

He nearly faints when she curls her tiny fingers around his fingertip.

"Hello, princess." He croaks, blue eyes filling with tears.

When she reached for his hand, she reached for his heart.

* * *

"What's her name?" Mother Superior asks gently once Aurora is cleaned up and settled in a new room. From the moment Dr. Whale set the little girl into her arms, she never let go. Aurora stared at the tiny bundle, breathing in her scent and memorizing every detail of her face.

"Scarlet...Scarlet Jones." Aurora answers softly.

Killian can't help but smile pridefully.

"That's such a pirate name." Whale rolls his eyes.

"Well, she _is_ a little pirate princess." Killian snaps.

* * *

Aurora feeds their daughter, and then proceeds to fall asleep with the little bundle tucked in her arms.

Killian sits at her side, studying how much his two girls look alike. They both are beautiful sleepers.

He's exhausted. His eyes are heavy, and all he wants to do is fall asleep.

But he's sure that if he falls asleep, they'll disappear. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve them. If he falls asleep, they'll disappear, and he'll wake up alone.

* * *

He's up all night, just watching them, making sure nothing goes wrong.

Aurora is snoring from how tired she is. It's downright adorable.

He's sure he's imagining things when Scarlet begins to squirm in the bundle of blankets. Her little hand breaks free, and her eyebrows furrow together. She squawks, and her little cries break his heart.

Killian jumps to his feet instantly, looking around nervously. Aurora is fast asleep, and the nurses must not hear his daughter's cries. He almost shouts for them to get in there and make her stop, but then he realizes that he's her father, and he should be able to make her stop, right?

His hook is at home. He wasn't about to risk anything by wearing it.

So clumsily, he scoops the squirming baby into his arms. He makes sure to support her head like Dr. Whale had told them, and his good hand tucks the blankets around her.

He has to sit down. He's not sure if he can handle this. He's two seconds away from waking up Aurora.

But no, she needs her rest. And he's this little lass's father, whether he can accept it or not.

"Hush now." He croons. "Hush, love."

Killian carefully pats Scarlet's cap over her thick black curls. The baby squirms in his arms, her little cries making his heart ache. He looks around nervously, the room and the hospital silent.

"Shhhh..." He murmurs, rising to his feet. He keeps her safely tucked against his chest, and he awkwardly begins to sway. He keeps his pace gentle as he dances around the room. She's beginning to calm down, and she peers curiously up at him with cloudy blue eyes. He feels ridiculous, but this girl has him wrapped around her finger. If he stops at all, she whimpers.

Whatever makes her happy.

"There...that's not so bad..." He mumbles. Killian bites on his lower lip as he stares down at the little girl. She's his. She's a little piece of him, and a little piece of Aurora. "I don't know a thing about being a father, love. So basically, I apologize in advance." He turns towards the window and looks out at the dark sky. "You deserve so much more than me. Your mum too." He sighs. "But I'll take care of you two. I'll keep you safe." He tilts his head down and breathes in her sweet smell. "I'm sorry that I didn't want you at first. It's...nothing personal. I just...like I said, I don't know a thing about fathers. I don't know how to be one. You'll see in time, things won't always be perfect." He sighs, lifting his head. "But I love you already, lass. And I promise you, that will_ never_ change. I won't ever leave you." He promises.

Killian turns, watching Scarlet's eyelids grow heavy. She yawns, and he's sure he hasn't seen a sweeter sight before. As he looks up at Aurora, he notices she's turned on her side towards him, and her lips are curved into a sleepy smile.

"Come here, you big softie." She teases quietly, scooting over to give him room beside her.

"I'm only soft on you, princess." He grins, and looks down at their daughter. "And you."

He carefully sits down on the bed, and Aurora leans against him. They stare down at the little girl nestled in Killian's arms. They make an odd family portrait. A pirate and a princess and their little girl. Their stories were never meant to collide.

But collide they did, and hard.

"We did it." Aurora whispers, her hand smoothing over his arm.

"Aye. We sure did, princess." Killian gives Aurora a warm smile, and presses his lips to her cheek.

He didn't know how or why, but he had a family now. He was given exactly what he didn't deserve. He was given exactly what he thought he would never have, or ever need.

And he wouldn't ever trade this gift for anything in the world.


End file.
